It so sucks to be me!

I live in a town of less then 1000 people. A place where people get into your shit or pull them into yours. You look around and see people who just gave up on life.

I don't want to be one of them! It's feels so hopeless in this town.

I sit at home all day waiting to go to work because it better then just sitting here. Then I get to work and the people come in and they get on my nerve's. They get rude, they get drunk, they get dumb. Its so overwhelming, but I just grit my teeth, fake a smile and tell them to drive safe. I try and smoke but just as I light it ten more people come in either one at a time or all at once. Then there's those who just lowly gag and do nothing. They just sit there and since I'm the only one on shift I can't leave. Then I have a list of shit to do before closing that I can not always complete because of the customers! I try to mop and the same thing happens, I even think about it and I am stopped. My usuals who I use to adore get on my nerve's now. I constantly wish death on these people just because they need gas. Then I sit and wait until its time to go home. I get there I do some stuff then sleep. I wake up the next morning and sit there. I try going to others people's house but its just the same shit in a different place. I get so tired of it that I can't wait to got work and thus the cycle continues.

I had a girlfriend, but she's gone now and thats a different rant, but it does affect this one. When she left I tried looking for some one knew all most fell for my best friend but I moved out when it got weird. I was afraid i would lose her as my friend. She may have been the only other girl in this town that I could be with. Like I said i tried dating again only to find that I already knew I didn't want any one from here. Save My X and My best friend.

My X: She is still one of my closest friends, but dew to the distance, we really can't do much for each other.


My best friend: She is the only person in this town who has not completely let me down. I really never her saw her as more then a friend until recently. She is a major hotty though. (Not sayin my X isn't either cuz dam she is fine!)
I might have had a chance had my X and I broke up earlier but that was not the reason why we broke up. You see my BF had just broke up with her boyfriend (Note he is also a close friend) because he manipulated her. I will rant about that latter. Well they broke up ever 6 to 8 months and always got back together. This time it went out of control. She was already starting to like some other dude because they had chemistry. He has a cool personality thats all I have to say that's good about him. Well any who got there first, and I didn't want to lose my BF. So when I really started to like her I moved to get over that. I thought it worked but now she say's she's falling for him. I lost my chance with her I don't know if I can get her back.

The bum: My best friends new boy friend. His only good quality is that he is a nice guy.
He's nothing but a bum. He sits at home all day doing nothing. He goes to the casino section of my work to drink. He yells every night saying how much he hate's this town, yet does nothing to get out of it. Not only has he not got a job. He won't try to find one. I do not know what she sees in him but she sees it. I try not to get in the way. I act like there's nothing wrong with him but I can't stand him. Just because he got there first.

So here I am stuck in the lowest point of my life and there is nothing but rage in my heart. I not only don't want to date a girl from here, I don't even wanna sleep with any one from here (save two)


That's it if you wanna here about the whole break up between my BF and my close friend read it feels so sad and weird.

Ha usually i would ask my best friend for advice!